100 Things Wes Janson is not supposed to do
by Rebel.Dream.Tatooine.Ghost
Summary: 100 Things Wes Janson is not supposed to do
1. Part I

_**Title: 100 Things Wes Janson is not supposed to do Part I**_  
_**Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by George Lucas, and not by me.**_  
_**Author: Rebel.Dream.Tatooine.Ghost**_  
_**Fandom: Star Wars **_  
_**Timeframe: Multi**_  
_**Characters: Wes Janson**_  
_**Genre: Humor**_  
_**Summary: A list of 100 things Wes Janson is not Supposed To Do. **_  
_**Notes: This is just a list. Nothing more nothing less. Actually I got the Idea for this list from 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The US Army. ******__I hope you enjoy it. _

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1. My Proper title is "Flight Officer Janson" not "Princess Cambria"

2. Not allowed to add "In accordance with the prophesy" to the end of an answers I give to question that an officer asks me.

3. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal Posters.

4. Not allowed to title any product "Get Over it".

5. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.

6. Must not taunt the Hapans any more.

7. Must attempt to not antagonize the Chiss.

8. Must never call a Chiss a "Wanker".

9. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.

10. Never confuse a Hapan pilot for a Chiss one.

11. Must not tell Tenel Ka jokes in front of a Hapan.

12. Not allowed to wake Wedge or Luke by repeatedly banging on their head with a stick.

13. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility of my actions.

14. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post, when on a planet.

15. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in (the Clone War isn't over).

16. I do not have Jedi powers.

17. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to humankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.

18. I am not allowed to "Go to Coruscant and shake daddy's little money maker for Credits stuff in my undies."

19. I am not allowed to fire officers.

20. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

21. Not allowed to trade military equipment for "magic beans"

22. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

23. An order to "Make my boots black and shinny" does not involve electrical tape.

24. The proper response to a lawful order is not "Why?"

25. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.


	2. Part II

_**Title: 100 Things Wes Janson is not supposed to do Part II**_  
_**Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by George Lucas, and not by me.**_  
_**Author: Rebel.Dream.Tatooine.Ghost**_  
_**Fandom: Star Wars **_  
_**Timeframe: Multi **_

_**Characters: Wes Janson**_  
_**Genre: Humor**_  
_**Summary: A list of 100 things Wes Janson is not Supposed To Do. **_  
_**Notes: This is just a list. Nothing more nothing less. Actually I got the Idea for this list from 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer allowed to do In the US Army. I hope you enjoy it.**_

26. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Flight Officer Janson.

27. There is no "Anti-Jedi" campaign on Yavin 4 or on Ossus.

28. May not pretend to be a stormtrooper, while on duty, unless it is an elaborate scheme.

29. May not conduct psychological experiments on Wedge or Luke.

30. I am neither the king nor queen of hot chocolate.

31. Not allowed to wear a dress to any military functions.

32. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

33. Must not refer to Wedge as "Mom".

34. Must not refer to Luke as "Dad".

35. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony "Romper Bomper Stomper Boo" is probably not appropriate.

36. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.

37. Luke and Wedge are not old enough to have fought in the Clone Wars, and I should stop implying that they did.

38. Must not mock Luke or Wedge's command decisions in front of the press.

39. I cannot trade Wedge or Luke to the Chiss.

40. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.

41. I cannot arrest children for being rude.

42. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.

43. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.

44. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.

45. "I'm drunk" is a bad answer to any question posed by Luke or Wedge.

46. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.

47. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

48. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

49. The proper way to report to Luke or Wedge is "Flight Officer Janson, reporting as ordered, Sir" not "You can't prove a thing!"

50. I will no longer perform "lap-dances" while in uniform.


End file.
